This is not a motivation problem. According to the CDC’s 2024 national survey data, an estimated 7 million U.S. children aged 3–17 have a current ADHD diagnosis, and nearly 78% of them have at least one co-occurring condition — anxiety, learning disorders, or processing differences — that makes homework even more demanding. The strategies below are designed for how the ADHD brain actually functions after a full day of school.

Why Homework Is Harder for Kids with ADHD

By the time a child with ADHD gets home from school, their executive function resources are significantly depleted. Managing attention, behavior, and impulse control in a structured classroom environment for six or seven hours is genuinely exhausting for the ADHD brain. The NIMH (updated December 2024) notes that ADHD involves real differences in working memory, planning, and sustained attention — all of which are heavily demanded during homework, and all of which are at their lowest point in the late afternoon.

Add in the fact that homework is typically low-stimulation, repetitive, and disconnected from immediate reward — exactly the conditions under which the ADHD brain struggles most — and the homework battle becomes predictable rather than mysterious.

5 Homework Strategies That Work for ADHD Brains

1. Time the Homework Window Strategically

Most children with ADHD do their best homework work within 30 to 45 minutes of getting home — after a brief snack and a movement break, but before the brain fully disengages from school mode. Waiting until after dinner is usually a mistake. By 7 p.m., the executive function resources that were already depleted by a full school day are essentially gone. Experiment with different start times and track which one produces the least resistance over two weeks.

2. Use a Timer, Not a Clock

A 45-minute homework block is invisible and overwhelming to a child with ADHD. A 10-minute timer is concrete and survivable. Use a visual timer so your child can see time passing rather than just hearing a countdown. Work for 10 minutes, take a 3-minute movement break, then repeat. This approach maps directly onto how ADHD brains sustain attention in short bursts and is far more effective than expecting sustained effort over a long unbroken period.

3. Create an External Working Memory System

Do not rely on your child to remember what was assigned. Work with their teacher to ensure assignments are sent home digitally or written in a planner. A whiteboard in the homework area where you write tonight’s tasks in large print gives your child an external reference they can consult without having to hold everything in their head. The CHADD resource on executive function skills explains why external systems are a legitimate accommodation for working memory deficits — not a crutch, but a tool.

4. Reduce Environmental Friction

The homework environment matters more than most parents realize. A cluttered desk, background TV, or a sibling playing nearby can derail a child with ADHD before they write a single word. Set up a dedicated, low-stimulation workspace with only the materials needed for that night’s assignment visible. Some children with ADHD focus better with low background music or white noise — experiment to find what works for your specific child.

5. Separate “I Can’t” from “I Won’t”

When a child with ADHD says “I can’t do this,” they often mean it literally. Before assuming defiance, check whether the task is genuinely above their current skill level, whether they understand the instructions, or whether working memory has run out. Sitting beside them for the first two minutes of a task — not doing it for them, just being present — often provides enough scaffolding to get them started. Once momentum builds, you can step back.

When to Ask the School for Help

If homework battles are happening every night despite consistent strategies, it may be time to talk to your child’s teacher or school counselor. Children with ADHD may be eligible for a 504 plan or IEP that can include homework accommodations such as reduced assignment length, extended deadlines, or the option to complete work in a resource room. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents of children with ADHD work closely with teachers and school staff as part of a coordinated approach — not just at home, but across every environment where the child spends time.

For more on working with your child’s school, see our guide on what teachers should know about ADHD in the classroom.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should a child with ADHD spend on homework each night?

The National Education Association’s general guideline is 10 minutes per grade level per night — so 30 minutes for a third grader, 50 minutes for a fifth grader. For children with ADHD, sticking to this limit is especially important. If your child regularly needs two or three times longer than their peers, that is a signal to talk to the teacher about workload or accommodations, not to push your child harder.

My child says they have no homework every single night. What do I do?

This is extremely common with ADHD. Working memory gaps mean assignments genuinely do not get written down, and by the time your child gets home, they have no memory of what was assigned. Set up a system with the teacher — a daily email, a shared Google Classroom account you can check, or a homework buddy your child can text — so you have an independent source of truth that does not rely on your child’s recall.

Is it okay to let my child use fidget tools while doing homework?

Yes. For many children with ADHD, having something to do with their hands actually improves focus rather than distracting from it. A stress ball, putty, or a simple foot rest to bounce a leg on can provide the sensory input the ADHD brain needs to stay regulated. Try it for a week and observe whether the quality of the work improves.

Should I help my child with their homework or make them do it independently?

The goal is supported independence, not either extreme. Being present and available — in the same room, checking in every 10 minutes — is more effective than either sitting beside them for the entire session or leaving them completely alone. As their skills and confidence build, you can gradually reduce your involvement. If a child needs you to sit beside them for every homework session indefinitely, that is a signal that the homework is too hard, the supports are insufficient, or both.

The post 5 Homework Strategies for Kids with ADHD Who Hate Studying appeared first on ADHD Notebook.

Children with ADHD struggle with the exact skills that chore completion requires: initiating tasks that are not immediately interesting, remembering multi-step sequences, managing time, and sustaining effort through to completion. According to the CHADD resource on executive function skills, these are core executive function deficits in ADHD — not character flaws, and not fixable by trying harder.

The good news is that chore systems designed for ADHD brains work significantly better than standard charts. Here is what the research and experienced ADHD parents have found.

Why Standard Chore Charts Fail Kids with ADHD

A standard chore chart assumes the child will see the chart, remember what each chore involves, initiate it without prompting, complete it fully, and check it off. That is five separate executive function demands stacked on top of each other. For a child with ADHD, any one of those steps can be a genuine barrier. The NIMH (updated December 2024) notes that ADHD involves real differences in working memory, planning, and task initiation — all of which are required to complete a chore independently.

The most common failure point is initiation: the child sees the chart, intends to do the chore, gets distracted by something more interesting, and the chore never happens. This is not defiance. It is the ADHD brain defaulting to higher-stimulation activities when faced with a low-stimulation task.

What Makes a Chore Chart Work for ADHD

Keep It Visual and Specific

A chore chart for a child with ADHD should show exactly what “done” looks like. Instead of “clean your room,” the chart should list: “put dirty clothes in hamper, make bed, put toys in bin, clear desk.” Each step is a separate item that can be checked off. This removes the ambiguity that causes ADHD children to either do nothing (because they do not know where to start) or do the easiest part and consider the job complete.

Attach Chores to Existing Routines

The ADHD brain builds habits more reliably when new behaviors are attached to existing ones. “After dinner, clear your plate and wipe the table” is more likely to happen than “sometime today, wipe the table.” Tying each chore to a specific anchor moment in the day — after waking up, after school, after dinner, before bed — reduces the number of times you have to prompt and increases the chance the chore becomes automatic over time.

Use Immediate, Consistent Rewards

The ADHD brain has a weak response to delayed rewards. A sticker earned today is motivating; a privilege earned at the end of the week is abstract and easy to discount. A simple system where each completed chore earns an immediate token (a sticker, a poker chip, a checkmark on a visible tally) that can be exchanged for a small reward at the end of the day works better than weekly or monthly reward systems. The immediacy is the key.

Start With One or Two Chores

The instinct when starting a chore system is to assign everything at once. Resist it. Start with one or two chores that are genuinely manageable for your child’s age and current skill level. Build consistency with those before adding more. A child who reliably does two chores is in a better position than a child who is supposed to do eight and does none.

Make It a Routine, Not a Request

Chores that require a parent to ask every time will not happen reliably. The goal is to build a system where the chore happens at the same time every day without a reminder — or with only a single, brief prompt. This takes weeks of consistent implementation, not days. During the building phase, prompting is necessary and expected. Over time, the routine takes over.

Chore Ideas by Age for Children with ADHD

The following table shows age-appropriate chores that are manageable for children with ADHD when broken into clear steps:

For more on building daily routines that work for ADHD brains, see our guide on homework strategies for children with ADHD — the same principles apply.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I pay my child with ADHD for chores?

This is a personal family decision, but there is a practical consideration for ADHD: money is a concrete, immediate reward that can be highly motivating. A small payment per completed chore — rather than a weekly allowance regardless of completion — ties the reward directly to the behavior, which is more effective for the ADHD brain. If you use a payment system, keep the amounts small and the payment immediate (or at the end of each day) rather than weekly.

My child starts chores but never finishes them. What helps?

This is one of the most common ADHD chore challenges. Two strategies help most: first, make sure the chore is broken into specific, checkable steps so “done” is unambiguous. Second, use a timer — “you have 10 minutes to finish clearing the table” gives the ADHD brain a concrete endpoint to work toward. Checking in at the halfway point (“two more minutes”) also helps sustain effort through to completion.

Is it okay to reduce the number of chores for a child with ADHD?

Yes. The goal of chores for a child with ADHD is to build the habit of contributing to the household and develop independence — not to match the volume of chores a neurotypical sibling can handle. Starting with fewer chores and building up as the child develops capacity is a reasonable accommodation, not a lowering of standards. Consistency with two chores is more valuable than inconsistency with eight.

The post The Best Chore Charts for Kids with ADHD (And Why They Work) appeared first on ADHD Notebook.

According to the CDC’s 2024 national survey data, an estimated 7 million U.S. children aged 3–17 have a current ADHD diagnosis. Nearly 78% of them have at least one co-occurring condition — anxiety, sleep disorders, or sensory sensitivities — that makes mornings even harder. The strategies below are designed for how the ADHD brain actually works, not how we wish it would.

Why Mornings Are Especially Hard for Kids with ADHD

The ADHD brain has genuine difficulty with task initiation — getting started on something that is not immediately interesting or rewarding. Getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth are all low-stimulation, repetitive tasks that the ADHD brain resists. Add in the time pressure of a school bus, a parent who is also trying to get ready, and the sensory challenges that many children with ADHD experience (scratchy clothes, loud sounds, bright lights), and the morning becomes a perfect storm.

The NIMH (updated December 2024) notes that ADHD involves real differences in executive function, including the planning and sequencing abilities that a smooth morning requires. Knowing this shifts the goal from “why can’t my child just do this” to “what external support does my child need to do this.”

How to Build an ADHD Morning Routine That Sticks

Step 1: Start the Night Before

The most effective morning routines begin the evening before. Clothes laid out, backpack packed, lunch made, and a visual checklist of the next morning’s steps reviewed together before bed. This eliminates the decision-making that slows down ADHD mornings and reduces the number of things that can go wrong between waking up and walking out the door. A child who has already decided what they are wearing is not a child who spends 15 minutes staring at their closet.

Step 2: Build a Visual Routine Chart

A written or picture-based morning checklist posted at eye level in the bathroom or bedroom gives your child an external reference for what comes next — which is far more effective than verbal reminders from a parent. The checklist should be sequenced (get up, use the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, get backpack, shoes on, out the door) and should use pictures for younger children or simple text for older ones. The goal is for your child to be able to move through the routine by checking the list, not by asking you what to do next.

Step 3: Use a Visual Timer

Children with ADHD have a poor internal sense of time — a feature of the condition sometimes called “time blindness.” A visual timer (the Time Timer brand is widely used in ADHD families) shows time passing as a shrinking colored area, which makes the abstract concept of “you have 10 minutes” concrete and visible. Set it for each segment of the morning: 10 minutes to get dressed, 15 minutes for breakfast. When the timer runs out, the next thing starts — no negotiation.

Step 4: Build In a Movement Moment

Many children with ADHD are more regulated and cooperative after physical movement. A short burst of activity — jumping jacks, a quick walk around the block, or even dancing to one song — can significantly improve the quality of the rest of the morning. This feels counterintuitive when you are already short on time, but five minutes of movement often saves 15 minutes of resistance later.

Step 5: Remove Screens Until the Routine Is Complete

Screens are the single most common morning derailment for children with ADHD. The dopamine hit of a phone or tablet makes every other morning task feel even more aversive by comparison. A firm rule — no screens until shoes are on and backpack is at the door — removes the competition. It will be resisted at first and then become normal. Hold the line.

What to Do When the Routine Breaks Down

Every routine breaks down sometimes. The goal is not perfection — it is a default pattern that reduces the number of mornings that go badly. When things fall apart, resist the urge to have a long conversation about it in the moment. A brief, calm “that was a hard morning — let’s figure out what got in the way tonight” is more productive than a debrief while everyone is already late and stressed.

If mornings are consistently difficult despite a solid routine, it may be worth talking to your child’s pediatrician about whether the timing of ADHD medication is affecting morning functioning. This is a medical conversation, not something to adjust without guidance.

For more on building systems that reduce daily friction, see our guide on homework help for children with ADHD.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to establish a morning routine with an ADHD child?

Most families see meaningful improvement within two to three weeks of consistent implementation, but the first week is often harder than before you started — because you are changing a pattern and your child is testing whether the new rules are real. Consistency matters more than perfection. If you skip the routine on weekends, it will take longer to stick on weekdays. The more consistent the routine across all mornings, the faster it becomes automatic.

My child wakes up in a terrible mood every day. Is that ADHD?

Sleep problems are extremely common in children with ADHD — the CHADD resource on ADHD and sleep disorders notes that up to 70% of children with ADHD have sleep difficulties. If your child is consistently waking up dysregulated, it is worth evaluating whether they are getting enough sleep and whether the quality of their sleep is adequate. A child who is chronically sleep-deprived will have significantly worse ADHD symptoms, including morning mood and behavior.

Should I reward my child for completing the morning routine?

Yes, especially in the early stages. A simple sticker chart where completing the morning routine earns a sticker, and a set number of stickers earns a small reward, provides the immediate positive feedback that the ADHD brain needs to build new habits. Over time, as the routine becomes automatic, the external reward can be faded. The goal is to build the habit first, then rely on the intrinsic satisfaction of a smooth morning as the reward.

What if my child has sensory issues that make getting dressed a battle every morning?

Sensory sensitivities are common in children with ADHD and can make clothing a genuine source of distress rather than defiance. Strategies that help include choosing clothes the night before (giving the child control and time to adjust), buying seamless socks and tagless shirts, and allowing the child to wear the same comfortable outfit repeatedly if it reduces friction. If sensory issues are significantly affecting daily functioning, an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory processing can provide targeted strategies.

The post How to Build an ADHD Morning Routine That Actually Works appeared first on ADHD Notebook.

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This means that all teachers need to be aware of the signs and symptoms of the disorder, as well as know techniques for helping children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD or ADHD) in the classroom.

First, teachers should understand that an ADHD diagnosis may take time, and, in fact, the input of the teacher may help to make the diagnosis earlier. For instance, if you have a child in your class who is particularly disruptive and disorganized, it’s possible that he or she is exhibiting some signs indicating a need for further evaluation.  At the other extreme, you may have a child in your class who seems very detached, looks out the window a lot, and seems to be ignoring you. This child may be having trouble focusing, and, again, may need to be evaluated to see if he or she has ADD.

Other things to look for are children who have a hard time sitting still, fidget a lot, and run around the classroom. Some children with ADD may not be able to wait their turn and just shout out answers instead of waiting to be called on. A good strategy is to document the behavior of a child you think may have ADD. This can be helpful in helping the parents to understand what is happening in the classroom, and for helping a doctor reach the correct diagnosis.

Once an evaluation is done and a proper diagnosis is reached, a child with ADD usually responds positively to a program combining medication and strategies to modify behavior. Children with ADD are much like other children with disabilities, in that teachers can be most helpful to them if they understand the disorder and are willing to modify the classroom program to accommodate them. This, of course, assumes that the teacher knows what problem the child has. You can work with special education teachers, school psychologists, and the parents to ensure that the child is diagnosed properly and then to put in place the assistance the child needs.

Most children with ADD are treated with medication. You may have seen good results in a child who starts ADHD medication (and conversely, negative results when a child forgets to take his or her medication). So, it might be tempting to suggest medication to a parent. However, a teacher should refrain from directly doing this. Instead, recommend that the parents take the child to a doctor for evaluation.

You should familiarize yourself with the side effects of ADHD medication. For instance, a child who is just started on the medication may be sleepy. However, after the first week, if the dosage is correct the child should not be sleepy or listless. You should notice that he or she is more able to focus and is not as distractible.

Teachers should understand that medication alone will not solve all of the issues a child with ADD has been having in the classroom. Specific teaching strategies will be helpful in maximizing the child’s potential in the classroom. Working together with the administration and parents is key to designing a successful education plan for the child.

While it is beyond the scope of this article to discuss teaching strategies in depth, there are a couple of simple and universal approaches. A structured classroom is best for students with ADHD. These students need to have clearly defined expectations. Breaking down assignments into smaller segments is another useful strategy. Students with ADHD may need more time to complete assignments, as well.

Mom’s Take

I always hoped that my daughter’s difficult behavior was something she would grow out of. I thought of her as a bright, lively kid who had a lot of energy. When the kindergarten teacher hinted that we should have her evaluated, I resisted the idea—and even blamed the teacher for her inability to control the class. So while we had some warning signs about our daughter’s problems in kindergarten, it wasn’t until her first grade teacher spoke candidly with us about her behavior that we woke up. It wasn’t easy to hear, but it was what we needed to get a diagnosis and start to help her.

The post What Teachers Should Know About Recognizing and Treating ADHD appeared first on ADHD Notebook.

Why is Homework So Important?

You may wonder why your ADHD child needs to do homework at all. Educators agree that homework provides many opportunities for ADHD children to learn and practice the academic skills that they may not have the time to acquire in the school setting. Homework helps a child in the following areas: 1) review of material learned in school; 2) preparation for future class learning; 3) extension homework, which helps the child take general concepts and place them into unfamiliar contexts; and 4) creative assignments, which requires the child to take the known and produce something new and original.[1] These areas are so vital to learning, that effectively assisting children with ADHD and homework can help them to engage more actively in their school work. What the classroom setting cannot provide due to the limitations of teacher time and other distractions, homework can successfully accomplish. This is where parents can really pitch in and assist their ADHD child. The key is to get the struggle and suffering out of the equation by developing homework help uniquely designed for your ADHD child.

Let’s Get Organized

Loose papers, half-written assignments, book bags in disarray – this is most often what a parent faces when trying deal with ADHD and homework. Helping your ADHD child become more organized can be the most important step in achieving homework success. Firstly, it’s important to check and help your child organize their belongings on a daily basis, including backpacks, folders, and even pockets. Use part of homework time to help teach your ADHD child how to clean out old useless items from their backpacks. These items often distract the child, and hinder their ability to find what they need.

Once you have done this, check what is missing and then go shopping with your child to pick out school supplies that are appropriate for organizing homework. Depending on your child’s age, you may need folders, binders, and/or color-coded dividers to help them organize and file their papers. It may be helpful to buy different colored folders, notebooks, book covers and even colored pens. Then match each color to a particular subject. Buy a separate closable folder to use for homework papers. This folder will provide your child with a consistent place to store the homework papers. Then you must teach them how to file and organize themselves What may seem obvious to you is not at all obvious to the ADHD child. Your child can then store these folders in his or her backpack and sort them out each day with your help.   

Here are some other tips for helping to organize your ADHD child. Keep in mind age-appropriate tasks:

• Speak to the school about obtaining an extra set of textbooks and other materials to keep  at home.
• Help your child learn to make and use checklists, crossing items off as they are accomplished.
• Help your child learn to write down homework assignments in an assignment book and then check off completed assignments. Teach your child to break down long-term assignments and projects into smaller parts, writing each part into the assignment book. This can lessen anxiety when they see that they don’t need to do so much at once.
  • Help your child estimate how long it will take to complete each given assignment and help them plan their daily schedule accordingly. Include in this daily schedule study time for tests and other projects. This will help them learn to divide homework and study time effectively.
  • Help your child learn to plan ahead. We all know that it’s much more effective to start working on major assignments or reviewing for major tests well ahead of time rather that cramming the night before.

How Can the School Help Children with ADHD and Homework?

As a parent, you have a great deal of ability to work with teachers in helping your ADHD child with homework. Don’t underestimate how much teachers welcome and appreciate the involvement of parents in the learning process. Meet with your child’s teachers to discuss homework expectations. If appropriate, teachers can lessen the amount of homework assigned to your ADHD child and also give them extended time to complete assignments. This can be done in a way that is not noticeable to other children.

Here are other ideas that you as a parent, and the teacher can implement to make homework a success for your child:

• Ask the teacher to say the homework assignment out loud in addition to writing down all the steps necessary to complete each assignment.
• Give assignments one at a time to avoid work overload.
• Increase the quality instead of the quantity of time spent on homework:
• Give fewer and shorter homework assignments.
• Allow the child to stop practicing an activity once he/she has demonstrated the mastery of that particular skill.
• Reduce assignments into manageable sections with specific due dates.
• Give the child only the amount of work that can be done at one sitting.
• Have the teacher check the child’s assignment notebook at the end of class to make sure it is accurate. If possible, try to get a schedule of the week’s assignments so you can have them at home as a backup.
  • For the ADHD child with poor handwriting, which is very common, reduce the need or amount of handwriting required.[2]
• Set up a homework procedure at school: establish a place where the student can easily find his or her finished homework and pick an appropriate and consistent time to hand in work to the teacher.

Let’s Sit Down to do Homework!

After you have helped your ADHD child get organized (and this may be required on a daily basis) and become a partner with the teachers in establishing homework expectations, now it’s time to sit down and provide homework help!

Establishing a Set Homework Routine for your ADHD Child

Most children come home from school and need to unwind for a bit, be it with a snack and a book or to go outside and play with their friends. For the ADHD child this is especially true. You as the parent can figure out what time works best for your child to do homework and then create a daily routine that will support this decision. Stick to this routine so your child knows what to expect. If your child is on medication, it must be taken into consideration.

Children with ADHD may not be able to sit still for a long periods of time. You can give your child breaks after a predetermined amount of time so that your child can stretch or do brief exercises before resuming homework.  For example, set a timer for 15 minutes for a younger child, and allow a 5-minute break to stretch, run around, or play with a pet. The child’s work time in shorter segments will be more productive.

Designated Area for Homework

Next, you need to locate a designated area for your ADHD child to do homework. The homework area must be free from distractions, but close enough so that you can monitor and provide homework help as needed.  Also, make sure that your child has all the materials at hand. A child with ADHD who has to wander off to find a pencil will have a difficult time settling down to concentrate again.

It is also important to consider the noise level. Some children do best in quiet. Some do better with a little background noise or music. You and your child can work out which environment is most productive and then stick to it. Make the homework routine predictable and stress-free. After homework is done, check it over. Then help your child put the completed assignment in the homework folder and return all appropriate items to the book bag, zipping it up securely when done.

Positive Feed-Back

Positive feedback is extremely useful in trying to provide homework help to your ADHD child and help them remain relaxed. Check your child’s work often and compliment their efforts. Remember to point out the things your child is doing well and give reward points whenever you can. For example, it is important to tell your child the value of accuracy over speed and point out   their efforts rather than what they haven’t yet completed. These comments will motivate the child to continue to do try to more.

Some Additional ADHD Homework Help Strategies

• Allow your child to stand if sitting makes him/her jittery. Moving around may help your child to concentrate. Use a square of tape on the floor to make a box for his/her feet if he wanders too much.
• Provide textures to aid in productivity. Attach some adhesive velcro strips (soft side) to the desk for the child to rub his/her hand on, or make some stress balls of balloons filled with flour, rice, or sugar for the child to play with while they are thinking.
• Studies have shown that certain scents may aid in concentration. Try to experiment with basil, pine, peppermint, or citrus scents to see if any of these help.
• Keep your child’s mouth busy. For some children, chewing gum, or snacking on something crunchy like an apple or a cracker can help productivity. [3]

Mom’s Take:

ADHD and homework doesn’t have to cause anxiety and stress in either child or parent anymore. An ADHD child can be successful and productive during homework time with the homework help that their parents can provide. When you teach your child organizational skills, and combine that with teacher input and cooperation – and of course a positive and routine homework environment — successful homework help can produce enormous results both at home and at school.

[1]Homework success for children with ADHD: a family-school intervention program, by Thomas J. Power, James L. Karustis, Dina F. Habboushe

[2] Andries, Darcy, Homework Help for ADD, Suite101.com, August 27, 2008.

[3] Wilson, Laura, Homework Help for a Child with ADD, Suite 101.com, Feb. 22, 1010.

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1.   Hyperactive children flourish on routine and structure.  Wake-up time, meal time, homework time, and bedtime should all take place at the same time every day in order for them to feel secure.

2.   Buy a Trampoline.  I originally bought ours for our daughter who has sensory integration disorder but our son just loves to burn off some extra energy on it.

3.  The boredom box:  I read about this idea and I just loved it.  Put together a box of coloring sets, modeling clay, puzzles, paints, and any other fun things your child might be interested in.  Any time your hyperactive child is bored and has nothing to do he can pull out his boredom box…

4.  Got a dog?  Have your child take him for his morning jog.  It might be nice to allow your child to burn off some energy prior to his having to sit in school.

5.  Speaking of school… Talk to your child’s teacher about allowing your child to walk around a bit in back of the room every once in a while.  Let him be the one to hand out papers, photo copy sheets and deliver messages to the office.

6.  Sign him or her up for an exercise/dance/karate class.  My son takes a karate class on Mondays and he loves it.  And Mondays is his calmest day of the week! 

7.  Get a rocking chair.  There is nothing more calming than the rhythm of a rocking chair  My son loves to sit in ours when he reads.

8.  Another way to calm kids down – massage.  Give your child a mini-massage.  Rub his shoulders, his back, his hair.  You’ll feel his body relax.

9.  Television breeds hyperactivity.  It over stimulates the brain creating a trance like state at first and then a virtual  explosion of energy.  Try to limit television viewing time and avoid it an hour before bedtime at all costs!

Mom’s Take:

Hyperactivity can be challenging, exhausting, and often frustrating but it’s important to keep in mind that it comes with some very charming qualities as well.  Children with the hyperactive type of ADHD are also charismatic, imaginative, and fun to be around.  When I think of my son the first characteristics that pop into my head are his compassion for others, his outgoing personality, and his wonderful spontaneity.  And I know that in many ways his hyperactivity is responsible for these other unique qualities as well.  On those really bad days when you get that phone call from his teacher, or when he has decided to paint his room with his purple crayon, try to keep some of those good qualities that come with hyperactivity in the forefront of your mind. 

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Certainly, the roughhousing and impulsive behavior, common in kids with ADHD, is also evident in all kids from time to time. What separates kids with ADHD from other kids is the consistency of the behaviors. The behavior of most kids falls apart when they are tired or in an exciting environment, but generally children can control their behavior when they are well-rested and in routine.

ADHD children usually continue their hyperactive, unfocused behavior in all settings—at school, at home, at the homes of friends, at doctors’ visits, and on outings. The behavior also persists over a longer period of time. For instance, a child without ADHD might have an outburst but will return to his/her normally good behavior quickly. This just isn’t possible for the child with ADHD.

The people who make the comment quoted in the first paragraph discount the lack of control a child has over his or her behavior. While it may appear that the squirming, fidgeting, noisy child is just being “bad,” the pain the child feels is not being taken into account. Invoking the wrath of teachers, parents, and even friends, ADHD children know that their behavior is unacceptable, but just knowing does not provide the tools needed to change the behavior.

If you have a child with ADHD, you are, no doubt, exhausted and frustrated. A solid diagnosis is the beginning of change for your child—and for you. There are many techniques that can help your child to change his behavior, and there will be a period of trial and error as you learn what works for your child. Just as you have taught and modeled good behavior for your other children, you will do similar things with your ADHD children. However, there are specific ways to help your impulsive child.

Mom’s Take:

As the parent of multiple children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, I understand how hard it is to stay calm and firm at the same time—especially through the initial stages of figuring out what actually works in your specific case. For instance, behavior charts are touted as being very helpful in modifying behavior for children with ADHD. In the case of one of my children, the charts just seemed to make things worse. I found myself embroiled in a daily battle of how many stickers he had actually earned. In his case, this very good idea just wasn’t good for him. During this period, his behavior actually worsened and tension in the house increased. While I kept reminding myself to stay calm, it was extremely challenging to do so.

It wasn’t until we implemented some other behavioral techniques that our home became more peaceful. Take a deep breath; you’ll get there.

Meanwhile, get some support. One group I found to be a great resource is Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder, C.H.A.D.D. To find a support group near you, see http://www.chadd.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Find_Local_CHADD_Chapters.

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So what can a parent do about their child’s aggressive behavior? Dr. Lawrence Kutner suggests identifying the triggers to your child’s aggression, particularly if your child is a toddler or pre-schooler.  For example, you might take note that your child often becomes increasingly upset at a certain time of day, or perhaps in public areas.  Also, children tend to follow a certain pattern of behavior before they lose control.  Once you have determined the triggers for the aggressive behavior and can recognize the familiar patterns your child undergoes before he is about to lose control you can take the proper steps to remove your child from the environment before he explodes.  You can take him away from his music group (for example) for a few moments to regain composure.  As your child gets older he will learn more appropriate ways to cope with his frustrations.

 Spanking and verbal aggression passes on inappropriate messages and should be avoided at all costs.

 Older children and adolescents need to be taught the difference between aggression and assertiveness, according to Dr. Kutner.  He also points out that psychologists have found that both parents and older aggressive children benefit from learning to see the world through sunnier glasses as they tend to view their problems very negatively which exacerbates their frustrations and this makes it more difficult to evaluate improvement in the child’s situation.

As far as drugs are concerned researches at New York’s Stony Brook University School of Medicine have recently discovered (September 2010) that the trend in medicine to medicate ADHD children who act out aggressively with antipsychotic drugs might be a mistaken one.  The researches discovered that by  tweaking stimulant medications and combining it with behavioral therapy sessions, aggressive behavior often can be managed.

 Some experts in natural remedies are against treating children’s aggression with stimulant medications.  They feel this will simply stimulate children’s brains further and they opt for homeopathic remedies with ingredients like Hyoscyamus, Arsen iod, Tuberculinum.  They also recommend removing natural stimulants like sugar and caffeine from a child’s diet.

Mom’s Take:

Dealing with aggression is always difficult particularly with younger children and I have sometimes found myself at the end of my rope.  What I have learned is that is very important to try as hard as you can (it ain’t easy!) to separate yourself emotionally from the situation.  I know – when your child is having that tantrum in the middle of the super market and knocks over an entire shelf of eggs  he isn’t making this simple.  But taking a deep breathe and trying to distance yourself from the situation as much as possible will protect you from losing it as well.  Believe me – it looks a lot worse when both mother and child are having tantrums in the middle of the supermarket!

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You have a few options.  You can bring your child to a pediatrician,  psychologist,  psychiatrist, social worker, or  neurologist (although in  today’s insurance driven society your pediatrician is most likely to be your first step).  But you should come as prepared as possible.  The first stage of the pediatrician’s evaluation is going to be an extensive interview in which the doctor will need to know as much as he can about your child.  Try to think ahead of time about what you want to get across.

To help the professionals in diagnosing ADHD, make some notes for yourself: What are your major concerns?  When did the problems begin?  Where do they generally occur – at home?  In school?  In the playground?  With friends?  Discuss your child’s difficulties with his teachers and get the teacher’s impressions.  Bring a signed consent form for your  doctor to talk to your child’s teachers.  If you are not meeting with the pediatrician, discuss your child’s medical history with the doctor and bring a consent form for the doctor to speak to your pediatrician.  Speak to the doctor about any family issues that might be bothering your child – divorce, health problems, a move, death etc.  Anything that you can think of that relates to your child that might be significant should be passed on to the doctor.  Here is a list of things you should try to remember to bring to your appointment: Your notes, report cards and letters from teachers, names and contact information of teachers, any IQ testing, personality assessments, or any previous ADHD evaluation, individualized education plans, medical history, contact information of pediatrician,  and insurance information. All of these factors will assist you in getting the best ADHD assessment for diagnosing ADHD.

The doctor will also request a meeting with your child to get a sense of your child’s understanding of the situation.  An IQ test or a neuro-developmental screening might be requested by the doctor to rule out other conditions, in which case the doctor will discuss these matters with you.  The doctor will also perform a physical exam to rule out other things that can be confused with ADHD like a seizure disorder, hearing impairment, depression, or thyroid disease.  This extensive ADHD evaluation might require more than one visit.

 While diagnosing ADHD is not an exact science there are guidelines set out by the American Psychiatric Association in their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-IV, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) which is used by doctors to diagnose people with ADHD.  The criteria in the manual is as follows:

If a person has six or more of the following ADHD symptoms of inattention for at least 6 months to a point that is inappropriate for developmental levels:

 1.  Does not pay close attention to details/careless mistakes in schoolwork

2.  Has trouble keeping attention on tasks

3.  Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

4.  Does not follow through on instructions

5.  Has trouble organizing activities

6.  Avoids dislikes

7.  Loses things needed for tasks and activities

8.  Easily distracted

9.  Forgetful in daily activities

 If a person has six or more of the following ADHD symptoms for at least 6 months to the extent that it is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental levels:

1.  Fidgets with hands and feet/ squirms in seat

2.  Gets up from seat

3.  Excessively runs about

4.  Has trouble playing quietly

5.  Is often “on the go”

6.  Talks excessively (Impulsivity)

 7.  Blurts out answers before questions are finished

8.  Has trouble waiting for turn

9.   Interrupts

When diagnosing ADHD, the conclusions are as follows:

If some of these ADHD symptoms were present before age 7, some impairment from these symptoms occur in two or more settings, there is evidence that the symptoms cause impairment in social, school or work functioning and the symptoms are not caused by other disorders the child will be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.  The child will be diagnosed with ADHD, predominantly inattentive type (where she exhibits symptoms from the first list but not the second), ADHD, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type  (where she exhibits symptoms from the second list but not the first), or ADHD, combined type (where she exhibits symptoms from both lists).

Mom’s Take:

When I first got the diagnosis I  must admit I was torn.  A part of me was relieved that I had an answer but another part of me was disappointed.  A diagnosis of ADHD is not a simple one.  There is no cure for ADHD.  It’s a disorder that people just have to learn to live with.  I was also a bit upset with the idea that my son would have to go about his life with this new label.  But later that night when my son and I cuddled up next to one another to read a book I realized that a diagnosis of ADHD is really in the final analysis just that – a diagnosis.  Diagnosing ADHD doesn’t define my son. It doesn’t even describe him well.  It’s just a group of letters that scientists have determined aptly describe a disorder that he has.  And we’ll learn to deal with that…later.  But for the moment we were dealing with something much more important.  We were cuddling. 

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